So many months, so few posts, and now…what on earth could drag me back to the keyboard to rant after so many other things have been and gone and been left uncommented?

How about Hayden Christensen being mooted as playing Case in the film version of Neuromancer? 

No.

Please no.

He didn't single-handedly ruin the star wars prequels he was in but he certainly didn't help matters.

Jumper looks like it could've been an interesting film (and I was looking forward to plenty of poor B3ta spinoffs like Cardigan or Sweater) but I've not yet seen a single good review of that. I've certainly not seen anything that would give the impression he's a good actor let down by a poor film, so I'm assuming he's as bad in that as he was in Star Wars. Anyone who knows me will know that that doesn't necessarily mean I won't watch Jumper anyway though - There's many a bad film I actually enjoy, and it might be the good kind of bad - i.e. Mortal Kombat 1 rather than Mortal Kombat 2. Resident Evil rather than Resident Evil Apocalypse. And getting back to the William Gibson/Sprawl side of things, I'll include Johnny Mnemonic in my list of poor films that I "don't actually mind".

Did I just admit that to the net? Hmmm. Ok, I'm sorry. I know it's shockingly awful and dated and corny and every criticism you may throw at it is probably entirely correct and justified but still…it's Johnny Mnemonic! It's almost there! /Izzard "In my miiiiiind!"

And Keanu, ok so he's just a great big dumb plank in the film but I could live with that, I could see Johnny being like that.

Something in my mind keeps telling me "Just imagine how kickass it would be if it was good!" and I keep watching…

But Hayden Christensen as Case? No. Just no. Please somebody stop this sick joke now. I'd rather they didn't make the film at all. I'd rather it stayed as a dream in my head, rather it remained only as a book, a series of mp3s for long car journeys and a dated old game on my c64 I'll never play again.

Neuromancer > Blade Runner in my mind and casting this charisma-bypass of an 'actor' in the lead role is just absolute heresy.

It'd be like Blade Runner remade as an action movie starring Vin Diesel, retiring replicants left right and centre.

It'd be like a Hanna-Barbera or Filmation version of Ghost in the Shell

It'd be like taking a classic Asimov book and turning it into a Will Smith action movie complete with kickass motorbike chase sequence.

Oh, wait.

Oh Frak.