Ok, so there I was, ambling along down the high street of a local town and what did I see?

Yup, a Moscow State Circus poster.

Seems this clown is hell-bent on being a repressed memory to every child nationwide. 

Yup, it's the 2-pound shop, 2 months later…

So, Only2 lasted Only2 months then? How apt.

(that is of course assuming that when I first saw it it had only just opened and in the picture above it had only just closed down. And as the name seems to fit so well for this purpose, that's exactly what I shall be assuming. ;Þ Thpppt. )

I notice the To Let sign states that they 'may divide' - Is that an option you can take or a warning it may happen regardless? One minute you're standing in 1 large shop, the next it's split into into 2 x 1 pound shops? 4 x 50p shops? Could be the amoeba of the retail sector, slowly getting larger and larger, but the profits halving each time?

Actually, maybe that's why it's shut…The poundshop across the road is still doing ok after all, plenty of people still in there blocking the aisles and elbowing you left, right and centre. Just that one gent milling around aimlessly outside Only2…

You have to salute them though I suppose, it was a brave gamble trying to corner the 'slightly more upmarket than going down the market, errr, market' but it just didn't pay off. People obviously weren't tempted to go 'upmarket' and spend there, Poundland's posh enough thankyewverymuch, now they have unleashed their secret weapon - they have books!

Yup, books - the original non-volatile storage medium. Shit books admittedly, but proper paper ones with words 'n'everything nonetheless. No-one buying them of course, but they're there if you want them. I dunno, they'll be doing coffee in there next.

Dammit, only just noticed the a4 printouts taped  up on the pillars… Wonder what they said. Hey ho, at least it's not more flyers for unhinged shrieking Russian psychos in hats and makeup. Gotta be grateful for that at least.

Look at this. Saw this poster liberally slapped around town the other week.

Surely there's got to be some kind of law prohibiting the placing of disturbing images like this in public where anyone can see it?

Let alone covering half a large city in it?

I mean, really, there's no call for that is there? Look at that face.

Clowns are not right at the best of times, but that? That's just fecking freakish - that's not a smile or a laugh for a start, that's a scream.

A high pitched, insistent, bloodthirsty scream. He doesn't look like he's about to stab you in the gut, he looks like he already has and is now twisting the knife. And then the screaming starts, your face flecked with his spittle as he screams his long constant shriek, his stinking damp breath in your face never seeming to run out, screaming and screaming at you from only inches away, his furious howling just increasing in pitch and volume as the burning pain in your gut gets worse and worse as he plunges the blade into your stomach and chest again and again and again…

Don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who has an irrational fear of clowns, but that guy's not right.

Whoever decided he was a good way to advertise their circus is obviously not thinking too clearly. And the same goes for whoever said it was ok to paste this poster all over town. And also all the shop owners who put the posters up in their shop windows. I think Mr Shrieky-Stab the clown possibly visited them all…

Suffice to say, I shall not be patronising this circus at any foreseeable point in the future.