In the 99p store, situated where the 2-pound shop was:

Highlander Crisps you say?

In packs of 8 you say?

But…but surely…

There can be only one?

Right, that's that off my chest finally. Why I didn't buy any I guess I'll never know.

Oh yes, maybe it was because I'd spent so long trying to get a clear photo of the bloody things with people barging past all the time I figured a hasty retreat was the best option once done.

And it's amazing how self-conscious you feel getting your mobile out to take a photo in the 99p store…although in my case I wasn't likely to be mugged for it, more likely just pointed and laughed at for having such an old phone…

Actually, Whilst I'm thinking of wrongness I've noticed in shops (and I still have my mobile connected) I might as well upload this product too…

No. Just no. Taste the Goodness indeed.

Maybe I've got a filthy mind (ok, yes I know, there shouldn't be a maybe back there) but please, someone tell me I'm not the only one to think that that's not right…

Yup, it's the 2-pound shop, 2 months later…

So, Only2 lasted Only2 months then? How apt.

(that is of course assuming that when I first saw it it had only just opened and in the picture above it had only just closed down. And as the name seems to fit so well for this purpose, that's exactly what I shall be assuming. ;Þ Thpppt. )

I notice the To Let sign states that they 'may divide' - Is that an option you can take or a warning it may happen regardless? One minute you're standing in 1 large shop, the next it's split into into 2 x 1 pound shops? 4 x 50p shops? Could be the amoeba of the retail sector, slowly getting larger and larger, but the profits halving each time?

Actually, maybe that's why it's shut…The poundshop across the road is still doing ok after all, plenty of people still in there blocking the aisles and elbowing you left, right and centre. Just that one gent milling around aimlessly outside Only2…

You have to salute them though I suppose, it was a brave gamble trying to corner the 'slightly more upmarket than going down the market, errr, market' but it just didn't pay off. People obviously weren't tempted to go 'upmarket' and spend there, Poundland's posh enough thankyewverymuch, now they have unleashed their secret weapon - they have books!

Yup, books - the original non-volatile storage medium. Shit books admittedly, but proper paper ones with words 'n'everything nonetheless. No-one buying them of course, but they're there if you want them. I dunno, they'll be doing coffee in there next.

Dammit, only just noticed the a4 printouts taped  up on the pillars… Wonder what they said. Hey ho, at least it's not more flyers for unhinged shrieking Russian psychos in hats and makeup. Gotta be grateful for that at least.

Why does this make me think of the League of Gentlemen?

Tubbs: "Will Command and Conquer 3 be like Swansea?"

Edward: " Yes Tubbs. Only Bigger!" 

(Honestly, if you've seen Swansea of late, or Cardiff for that matter, you'd know that picture's not far off the mark. Minus the mechanised violence, of course, it's generally more hand-to-hand. And the buildings in the picture are in better nick too. No clown posters evident here tho, thank god)

And then, of course, the fact that most of the released pics look like this;

means I have Tubbs in my head shouting "Lines and Lines and Lines!!"

Command and Conquer meets Royston Vasey…now THAT'd be a mod and a half… 

Still, all looks very spangly and shiny and no doubt by graphics card is weeping at the prospect.

Also no doubt I'll still rather wish I was playing the original on my old 486 than playing this version but there we go. That's prolly got more to do with the high likelihood of being repeatedly and savagely beaten at it by a certain 15 yr old son who has far more time to practise it than I do, than it has to do with whether the game's poop or not. It just hasn't been as fun since you couldn't sandbag in your opponents harvesters…ahhh, halcyon days

Yup, for those aspirational-types who are bored with the delights of Poundland, want something new and are willing to spend that little bit more (well, ok 100% more), there's now 2-pound-land.

Sorry, it's "Only2 - The Original £2 Store™" isn't it? Silly me.

And where's it located? Directly across the street from Poundland of course…

And don't worry, if you have to go to Poundland because you can't afford the sky-high prices at Poundstretcher, Hyper-value or (heaven forbid!) Wilkinsons, they've got a sale on - a 1/2 price sale at that! Bargain!

So, that's the new 2-pound store "Only2", located opposite Poundland, with a half price sale on.

Word fail me.